I'm screwed! Please help...

[Fallen Jedii]

Alright, maybe some of you know that I go to Catholic School. Well, I'm an atheist (obviously) and I don't usually do anything when at mass. I don't go to communion and really don't do any praying of any kind. Only problem is, I was raised Catholic and my parent's think I believe in God.

Next year I'll be a Senior and we'll have our Baccalaureate at graduation. What the hell am I going to do then? People at school have probably seen me at mass. They've seen me not pray. What the fuck am I going to do? I'll look like an ass when I go up to communion after not doing it for years.

I know you guys can't really help me, but I just want some support here. I had to get this off my chest. Any suggestions on what I could do?

(Edit: I forgot to mention that parents attend the Baccalaureate.)

[bowmore]

You could consider telling your parents your true position...

[Fallen Jedii]

I don't know, I want to, but it'll be so tough and I cannot determine how it will effect them.

It'll be so awkward though going up there. Obviously, not everybody had their eyes glued on me yesterday while I was sitting in the pew during communion, but still. I used to go up in Freshmen year, but I stopped in Sophomore. Maybe I can explain how I saw the light and returned to God. They seem to buy that excuse every time.  

[Whitney]

I think you should do what you are comfortable doing.  You probably won't see most of your high school friends again and therefore shouldn't care what they think.  On the other hand, you will probably eventually have to tell your parents.  If your parents are going to be paying for your college and you think they might disown you if they found out you aren't a believer, I would suggest taking that into consideration.

[Fallen Jedii]

I think you should do what you are comfortable doing.  You probably won't see most of your high school friends again and therefore shouldn't care what they think.  On the other hand, you will probably eventually have to tell your parents.  If your parents are going to be paying for your college and you think they might disown you if they found out you aren't a believer, I would suggest taking that into consideration.

I will tell them someday...I think. I'm pretty sure they'd accept me no matter what. I just have to find the right moment.

I guess I'll just have to bite the bullet. I'm going to have to pretend that I believe. I've done pretty well so far I guess. I just dread the minute that I stand up and go to communion. Even though that in reality no one will really care. I mean, most of those kids are just Catholic by name. They aren't real Catholics. They don't pray or do anything of the sort. So it probably won't be that bad after all.

Sorry if I'm rambling and not making sense. I just get worked up about stupid things such as this.

[Reginus]

So, do you think you have the kind of parents who would actualy treat you worse if they knew you were an atheist?

[quizlixx]

I can say from experience that telling your parents will work out for the better. Be prepared to go through a month of uncomfortable hell though. Also christmas is kind of awkward, coming out of the "atheist closet" will make you feel much better.

[Fallen Jedii]

I can say from experience that telling your parents will work out for the better. Be prepared to go through a month of uncomfortable hell though. Also christmas is kind of awkward, coming out of the "atheist closet" will make you feel much better.

I've been considering this. I just don't think it's the right time just yet.

So, do you think you have the kind of parents who would actualy treat you worse if they knew you were an atheist?

I really can't say. They're not exactly religious nuts themselves, and my dad never seemed to interested in religion or god to begin with. I really don't know what their reaction would be.



It's not really telling my parent's that's the issue here.It's just the awkwardness that I'm going to experience next time at mass. My friends know that I'm an atheist and once they see me go up there they are going to think "What the hell?". Add on to that the teacher's and other kids that have seen me not go up and pray. What will they think? I'm afraid of what they'll think, or what they may ask me. I don't know what to do! I know what I can do, but it will be so awkward and embarrassing. I'm seriously getting anxious and uneasy about this. I can't believe that I didn't think about this before.

[Whitney]

my dad never seemed to interested in religion or god to begin with.

My dad was like that....I found out recently that he's an agnostic atheist.  I found out after making a "things like this is why I can't believe in god" comment after watching a movie about the Holocaust.  You could gauge how religious he is by making a similar comment at an appropriate time...only changing it to something less obviously atheist if you aren't ready to be that open.

[Thom Phelps]

I don't know, I want to, but it'll be so tough and I cannot determine how it will effect them.

It'll be so awkward though going up there. Obviously, not everybody had their eyes glued on me yesterday while I was sitting in the pew during communion, but still. I used to go up in Freshmen year, but I stopped in Sophomore. Maybe I can explain how I saw the light and returned to God. They seem to buy that excuse every time.  

You might consider a "right time, right place" approach to this. If you're atheist and you absolutely have to attend the ceremony, does it matter if you take sip of wine and eat a wafer in front of all those people? Consideration of your parents' feelings, if you love tand respect hem, might be more important than feeling like you're a hypocrite.

When my family members pray over dinner at a family gathering, I show them respect and my love for them by bowing my head. It doesn't mean I'm praying and I don't say "amen" at the end. Likewise, I don't crack jokes during prayers in wedding services I attend. It doesn't hurt me, one way or the other. When I was young, I used to be a jerk and say, "No thanks" when someone said, "Bless you," after I sneezed. Complete A-hole approach, in my opinion now, and definitely not indicative of a "Happy Ahteist." Presently, I thank people who bless me when I sneeze. It's either out of cultural habit, or they're sincerely concerned for my health. I don't care if they send some positive voodoo maggic my way. What can it hurt? Plus, making a big deal out of it just confused and drives a wedge between us.

If you're not comfortable sharing your beliefs with your parents yet, maybe this cereony isn't the right time to make a big deal out of it. Like going to the prom might not be the best time to tell them you're gay.

I actually skipped my baccalaureate ceremony in high school and just went to the formal graduation. Of course, my parents had already come to terms with me being atheist and could care less about the prayer service.

[SSY]

I don't see what will happen that is so terrible should you miss the communion bit. You said your parents will accept you, right? Leaving school and your childhood behind you is an excellent time to assert your beliefs and continue as you mean to go on, being openly atheist is a good way to start this.